


Blue

by Mija



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Musing About Canon Inconsistencies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 12:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7440100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mija/pseuds/Mija
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blue eyes – they represent new beginnings and new possibilities. And above all, they represent everything Spock has lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue

Blue eyes.

It’s them that make the biggest difference and that instantly make every illusion shatter when Spock turns to face the freaked out young man in the cave on Delta Vega. Not the lighter hair, not the leaner frame, not the greater restlessness and the still untamed impulsivity ... it’s the eyes. Bright blue eyes, piercing and inquiring.

In the course of his long life, Spock has known only one person who used to look at him with a gaze as intense as this, and it hadn’t been Jim Kirk. His Jim’s eyes reflected the same intelligence and vitality, but they were brown, hazel with green speckles, not at all like this Jim’s.

The blue eyes seem appropriate for this younger and wilder version of the man that has meant so much to Spock, formed differently by a more ruthless fortune, and yet he can’t prevent himself from thinking that something’s just plainly _wrong_ every time this Jim looks at him – as illogical as it might seem. The blue disquiets him and he only learns why when he meets Leonard for the first time. (The same Leonard McCoy and yet so different, still – again? – cranky and sarcastic and with a heart of gold, but not the man who once carried Spock’s soul, not the friend and confidant ...)

The startling bright blue has vanished, as if it had been stolen by Jim, replaced by a dark brown – a friendly brown, actually quite fitting, but it’s still weird, unfamiliar and somehow simply not _right_.

Spock observes, analyzes, but he doesn’t understand. Leonard was born six years before Jim was, six years before a different timeline has been created due to Nero’s interference, and Leonard should still have blue eyes, despite everything that has happened. The fact that he _doesn’t_ bothers Spock more than he would ever admit – not only because he can’t find a logical explanation, but also because he inexplicably feels his chest tighten every time a pair of blue or brown eyes meets his gaze.

He knows that he is the only one to feel this way. There’s no difference for anybody else, they just don’t know it any other way, and sometimes he envies them. _They_ don’t have to think about long gone times whenever one of the two young men flashes an unsuspecting smile; _their_ lives are still meant for the future, not for the past like his. All of them are so young, barely older than children, barely ready for what fate has burdened them with ...

And yet, Spock also knows that Jim and Leonard will be okay. They will help each other just like his Jim and his Leonard used to, and probably, _hopefully_ , they will include his Younger Self in their friendship. The three of them will find their ways and they will go down in history, in their own manner – just like a different trio made up of exactly the same persons did in another time, another reality –, and neither of them will ever wonder at the fact that Jim’s eyes are blue and Leonard’s aren’t.

_Blue eyes_. They represent new beginnings, oh yes, new possibilities, new paths to discover. But above all, they represent everything that Spock has irreversibly lost.


End file.
